I’ve created a new term for the autism community. Or at least it is new to me. Want to know what it is?
This explains my child these days. I’ve mentioned the invisible challenge of Aspergers syndrome and autism–communication. Well, when you add in anxiety, the challenge gets worse. If you ask my son a question, more than likely he will not answer or say, “Is it ok if I don’t answer?”
He is afraid of giving a wrong answer, no matter how simple the question. It may also be some OCD gone awry.
And so I live trying to avoid questions. That is really hard. Try it for the rest of the day!
I used to avoid “why” and “how” questions, rephrasing them to make them easier to understand or answer. Now I simply can’t ask questions.
Once in a while I can ask a question about an interest, such as Minecraft or a favorite book, but I’m not always guaranteed an answer. If it’s the right kind of question, I can sometimes ask a food related question, like, “Do you want some Chex?” [His favorite snack.]
So, that’s my new term– non-verbal verbal. It means a person who can talk, but won’t, for whatever reason.
I have to force myself to trust that God is bigger than this phase. That He knows what my son isn’t saying. That I don’t have to push with questions and push my son farther away. That I can rest in the silence.
Wow. That’s hard, isn’t it?
And while we wait, please don’t think my son is rude if he doesn’t answer you. He’s just having a hard time.
So, here’s my question for you, special needs parents…Do you have a new term? I’d love to hear it! Leave me a comment.
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